Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
