You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
