apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
