I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
