Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
