9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
