I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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