So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
