Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
