you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
