The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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