please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
