Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
third nipple confirmed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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