Can Purell be used as lube?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
