You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
