Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
