16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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