He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We had to coat check the pizza.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
