plz talk dirty to me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
