I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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