She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
