Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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