Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
