butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
