i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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