Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
