Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
