That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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