this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
