that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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