D3 body, D1 cock
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
