I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
