that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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