maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
