Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
