p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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