saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
