just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
