So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
