She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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