They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
