Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
from now on my penis is your penis
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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