They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
