thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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