So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
