I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
