there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
