I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
