We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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