at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I touched a dick in church today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
