Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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